MATTITUCK, NY — There was a time when former professional wrestler/boxer Marc Mero lived what many perceived as a glamorous life, traveling the world with the World Wrestling Federation, having his photo taken with presidents, superstars and other internationally famous athletes, facing off with The Rock and Hulk Hogan in the ring, and partying till all hours — and yet, he said, he never felt more alone.
Today, Mero, now a motivational speaker who talks bullying and suicide prevention with school groups nationwide, spends his nights not bathed in the dazzling lights of superstardom and fame — but instead, up until the wee hours, answering each and every one of the emails and letters he’s received from the students whose lives he’s touched.
Their letters paint an aching portrait of pain: Kids who have been on the verge of taking their own lives, with pills in their pockets and a plan to end the despair — and yet, at the last moment, hear a talk by Mero and decide to reach out, seek help, find a person to listen and to care.
Young people who decide to give living another chance.
And on Thursday, students at Mattituck High School were able to hear Mero’s empowering and inspiring message. Kait’s Angels sponsored two presentations for Grades 6 to 12 during classes — and a presentation during the evening for the entire community.
Kait’s Angels, a not-for-profit organization, was organized with a mission of doing good work in honor of Kaitlyn Doorhy, from Mattituck, who died tragically at 20 after being struck by a car while away at college.
During the presentation, Mero brought the audience to tears, sharing stories of his mother who, heartbroken by divorce, worked two jobs and raised her kids in a poverty stricken and drug infested neighborhood in Buffalo, his mother who sometimes cried herself to sleep — but always made time for her children, the shining lights of her life.
“The greatest gift my mother ever gave me was that she believed in me,” he said.
Discussing his meteoric rise to success, Mero, a four time boxing champ, said he knows all too well the pain the students he speaks to are experiencing: “I was one of those kids. I was bullied so badly. My mother couldn’t afford new clothes. We had no money.” His clothes were worn and tattered, found at yard sales. “I used to beg my mother to let me stay home from school.”
Still, fueled by dreams, he made his way to the USA boxing team. “I realized I was one of the best boxers in the whole country. All the dreams and goals I wrote down in my book were about to come true. I was about to become wealthy, get the speedboat, get my mother a house,” he said.
Two weeks before his first professional boxing match, Mero’s nose was shattered in an accident; he needed reconstructive surgery. Both he and his mom vowed he’d “be back in one year.”
Despite the fact that he was on the cusp of realizing childhood dreams — dreams of a black Cadillac, a speedboat, a house for his mother, of being named Rookie of the Year — that he’d written down in a notebook he still carries with him everywhere in the world, Mero said his bad choices led to a life spinning out of control as he wrestled with drugs and alcohol addiction.
“I had free time. I couldn’t train,” he said. “And sometimes when we have a lot of free time we are presented with a lot of choices, and I started making life-changing bad choices. The first thing I did wrong was I started hanging out with the wrong kids, so called ‘friends,’ drinking, getting high, doing drugs. You show me your friends, I’ll show you your future. I gave up everything I’d ever dreamed about because of who I chose to surround myself with. We are defined by our choices.”
The saddest part of drug addiction, Mero said, was that the people he hurt were the ones he loved the most — the adoring little sister who wanted nothing more than to sit next to him at dinner or see him at the graduation he missed. His mother, who wanted nothing more than to talk to him when he came home at night, after a night of partying when he angrily went to his room and slammed the door. His brother, who just wanted to toss a ball with his hero.
His poor choices led to the loss of what mattered most.
Those bad choices created a maelstrom that sent him spiraling out of the ring and into a deadly lifestyle that left scores of his friends dead, his family ties broken, his marriage failed.
However, a message sent by Kait’s Angels President William Araneo, about Kait’s tragic death, could well describe Mero’s journey: “From darkness can come goodness.”
His voice somber, Mero said: “I’ve overdosed on three occasions where I should have been dead. I believe I was kept alive for a reason.”
Eventually, he made his way back to the ring, back to worldwide success, and found a path that led to first, personal training and owning a gym, and then, to motivational speaking. His story brings auditoriums of students to tears as today, he teaches kids about how to make good choices and spreads a powerful message about anti-bullying, dreaming big and preventing suicide.
Looking back on his childhood, Mero said: “I’ve always been a dreamer. I dreamt of a better life for myself and my family.”
Of writing those dreams in his tattered notebook, Mero said: “It’s about writing your dreams and goals into existence.”
The problem, Mero said, is that as a society, “We believe money and fame are the keys to happiness; the more money you have, the happier you are.”
Instead, he told the students and parents in the auditorium that while many believe success is the key to happiness — happiness is the key to success.
Mero, who has always wanted to be a published author, said he was “the most unlikely guy to write a book,” and yet, he succeeded. He put a Post It note on his computer in 2008 that read, “Book 2010,” giving himself two years to make the dream reality.
No matter your age, it’s never to late to go after your dreams, he said. “I travel all over the world, speaking at 250 events a year. Adults all say they wished they had done this, or that. Don’t go through life with regrets. I meet so many people who say, ‘Those were the days.’ These are the days.”
And so, with the clock ticking and a year to go before 2010, Mero, at 50, got busy and got his book, “How To Be The Happiest Person On the Planet,” published. “I wouldn’t have been a published author without that Post It note,” he said. “I challenge you to write your dreams and goals into existence. Put it somewhere where you can see it. The more you see your dreams the more likely you are to take action and be accountable. Do not be defined by other people’s opinions.”
Most of the amazing things in his life happened later, he added; he became a professional athlete at 31, a motivational speaker at 47, an ordained minister at 52.
His most compelling dream today, he said, is to reach the scores of young people who are hurting. “I want you to know that you are not alone and you matter,” he said. Abuse, depression, anxiety, campus violence abound. “We have to make it stop,” he said.
While as a young boy, he was bullied, when he went home, the bullying stopped. Today, he said, with social media and the internet, kids are reading horrible things about themselves 24/7: “You’re ugly. You’re stupid. You should die.”
Mero shared one mother’s personal agony of her son’s suicide; she missed a call for help from another person trying to save him, by just minutes. “We will never recover from this,” she said, sobbing. “Never.”
Mero told students that they can never know what another is feeling. Maybe they have a broken heart, are dealing with divorced parents, had to put down a beloved family pet.
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Bullying, he said, can be deadly. “Your words can kill,” Mero said.
He wants desperately for kids to realize their beauty, talents, gifts, potential. But no matter how true those things may be, if students are told they are ugly, stupid, worthless, the effects can be life-ending. “When you hear something enough times, that becomes your reality,” he said.
Students who are considering self-harm should speak to parents or a trusted adult. If not, he said, “It’s like a volcano, and sooner or later, it erupts.”
Mero’s message is one of hope. “Everybody hurts. Everybody cries. I tell students every day, if you feel like giving up, hold on. I don’t want to go to any more funerals. My heart can’t take it.”
To students, he said, “Be the light in someone’s darkness. It’s not about finishing the race, it’s about how many people you help finish the race. Spend more time with the people that truly matter. Repair broken relationships. Regardless of the relationship you have with your parents, when they’re gone, you’re going to miss them so much.”
He may have had money, homes, cars and a star-studded career, but success meant nothing stacked up to what he’d lost, Mero said. Tragically, his mother died while he was in Japan on tour, his sister passed away from cancer, his little brother, from a tragic fall. Mero said he would give anything to toss a ball to his brother, sit next to his sister at dinner, talk to his beloved mother, just one more time.
“I had millions but I was so empty. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same as making a life. You want to be happy?” he asked. “Make someone else happy.”
And to teens who are struggling, Mero offered a life-saving message of hope: “Hang on. Don’t let go. Don’t give up. The best chapters of your life are about to be written. You are the author of your story. Write the new pages.”
When the presentation ended, Mero headed out to the lobby, where he took the time to meet every student, look them in the eyes, listen to their stories, hear their words and validate their importance and value, wrap a reassuring arm around their shoulders and give them a hug.
And then, he went back to his hotel, to answer every single one of the close to 100 emails he’d received from students he’d met that day. Because the dazzle of fame and fortune means nothing, he said, compared to the glory of saving a young life.
For additional information on Marc Mero’s “Champion of Choices” anti-bullying program, click here.